Copyright © Rachel Bjorklund, March 2004
As a woman, all I’ve wanted was the right to vote, educate myself, make my own choices, and receive equal pay for equal work. I thank strong women of history for making these rights possible. But I’ve discovered there is plenty today’s feminists haven’t told me.
The feminists never told me their image of the ideal woman. She stands in her perfectly tailored suit, cell phone and briefcase in hand, walking briskly through the office in her stilettos, barking orders to male subordinates while disarming them with her icy beauty. She drives home to her live-in lover at her penthouse apartment, freshens up and goes out on the town in search of a better lover to spice up her life. She is free to pursue a career that can’t love her back, unencumbered by husband or children. She grows old in her splendid loneliness, stacking up worldly successes with nothing to look forward to but a name.
The feminists never told me that they didn’t want equal rights with men. After all, men are a separate mortal species, completely unrelated to the female “goddess.” Feminists want to be above men. They want to conquer the whole male species. They never told me that a good man could be my best friend, my most faithful companion, and the love of my life.
The feminists never told me that marriage was a blessing. They imagine that a man who proposes on bended knee is merely looking for a bondservant to pick up his socks, cook his dinner and birth his children while he pursues his career and philanders with other women. They never told me that there are men of integrity who are willing to commit to loving their wives ’til the day they die, and honor their vows. They never told me that married people live longer, healthier, more satisfied lives, and are more emotionally and sexually fulfilled by one faithful spouse than by multiple casual relationships.
The feminists never told me that fathers are not expendable. They never mentioned that the latest trends have not changed the emotional needs of children any more than their physical needs.
They lump all fathers together as abusive tyrants who are worth less than the money they send to support their illegitimate offspring. They never told me about the fathers whose tenderness taught their children about unconditional love, whose discipline became an indispensable part of learning self-control. Whose kind words, firm hand, and constant presence became the anchor of a strong family.
The feminists never told me that the sexual revolution carried a high price tag for women. They never mentioned that sex without commitment causes emotional damage, inability to maintain meaningful long-term relationships, unwanted pregnancy, STD’s, and even death. They never told me that parents encouraged abstinence because they knew it ensured a better future.
The feminists never mentioned that the little life inside my womb had its own heartbeat before I knew it was there. They never noticed that inside or outside the womb is merely a question of location, not biology. After all, a child does not spontaneously combust from an alien life form into a human being merely by passing through the birth canal. They never mentioned that the “liberating” procedure called abortion would cause grief and regret, eliminate one third of my generation, and put me at greater risk for infertility, miscarriage and cancer. In fact, they told me it was safe and painless.
The feminists never told me that the real reason they sought to “relieve” me of the “burden” of motherhood is that they see children as an obstacle to what a woman can become, not a beautiful part of it. Children, after all, are a nuisance to be killed in the womb or given to day care workers as quickly as possible so as not to impede a woman’s true “aspirations.”
The feminists never told me that a relationship with God was liberating. They said the church was a domineering, chauvinistic institution led by a male god intent on subverting women. They never mentioned that the true God is neither male nor female, but has lovingly created both in his image. They omitted the fact that there is no greater freedom to be myself or use the gifts God has given me than in relationship with my Creator and those who worship Him.
The feminists never told me their philosophy was hatred. Men are pigs. Unborn babies are parasites. Children are a burden. Husbands are incompetent leaches. Parents are narrow-minded and authoritarian. Little boys are demons. Little girls are victims. Traditional women are spineless weaklings. Society is biased and oppressive. There is no one worth admiring but themselves.
The feminists never told me where their goals would lead. Fathers are reduced to weekend babysitters and check-writers. “Daddy’s little girl” has been turned into “molestation victim of Mom’s latest boyfriend.” Parenting has become a job left to the professional day-care workers, psychologists and teachers who see one more face in the crowd. Career ambitions are the center of the universe, while people fall to the wayside.
The feminists blame the chains of home, marriage, family, God and society for their misery. Could it be their unhappiness has something to do with disdain for everything that matters?
The feminists never told me.
Thank God my mother did!